"If you having girl problems, i feel bad for ya son, i got 99 problem but a vote aint one" ~ DALLAS, TX

"It often seems as though Ron Paul is America's last hope. Yoda, is there another?" ~ PORTLAND, ME

"If something is free, you're not the consumer. You're the product." ~ COLUMBUS, OH

"I think, therefore, I am. Or am I? Thinking?" ~ INDIO, CA

"I am listening to sexaphone music on my old pornograph." ~ ARLINGTON, VA

"We are living in a house of yes." ~ SILVER SPRING, MD

"Argon walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, you have to leave! We don't serve noble gasses here!" Argon doesn't react." ~ WHITE PLAINS, NY

"I want my dwolla" ~ SACRAMENTO, CA

"Dolla dolla bill y'all!" ~ YAKIMA, WA

"Damn, you secured this pretty well." ~ EVERETT, WA